Are you someone who is always on their phone or checks back in to see how many likes you've got on Facebook, Instagram or your latest Tiktok video?. Are you disappointed if it doesn't get a single thumbs up or heart! Do you need your boss, or friends to recognise your accomplishments?
Many of us are conditioned to seek approval and recognition from others, equating external validation with personal value. However, to improve your wellbeing, it is time to forget what people think and find true fulfilment by finding your self-worth and be able to find validation from within.
Here are my top tips to transform your relationship with yourself and find validation from within.
HOW TO Find validation from within
Internal validation is recognising your own worth and achievements, without relying on external approval. It takes time to build but the benefits are well worth it.
Here are my suggestions of what you can do to improve your internal validation.
Step one:
Self-Acceptance through journaling: Embrace who you are, write down your strengths, weaknesses, and unique qualities. Meet yourself, what are your beliefs, values and aspirations? What truly matters to you?
Self-Recognition: Write down things you have accomplished no matter how small or areas you have made progress, regardless of whether others noticed or praised them.
Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, you must make mistakes to be able to learn and grow.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Replace harsh self-criticism with supportive and constructive thoughts. Make yourself a gratitude list of things you are grateful for, including your personal achievements, for example, I am smart, I am grateful for the ability to learn. Find yours.
Do not compare: Comparing yourself to others can undermine internal validation. Focus on your own journey and progress rather than measuring yourself against others. Remember, everyone's path is unique and be proud that yours is your own.
Find your motivation: What motivates you? Pursue activities that bring you joy and satisfaction and not what you feel you should do for others.
Make it special: We really do not need to share every moment of our lives. This is especially true if you are caught up in the social media circle. Sometimes it is nice to keep somethings to ourself and just enjoy the moment or our achievements internally.
The Benefits of Internal Validation
Shifting your focus from external to internal validation brings numerous benefits:
Resilience: A strong sense of self-worth makes you more resilient to criticism and setbacks.
Authenticity: You can live more authentically, making choices that align with your true self.
Fulfilment: Inner satisfaction leads to a deeper, more lasting sense of fulfilment.
Overcoming Challenges
The journey toward internal validation can be challenging, especially if you've spent years seeking external approval. Here are some tips to help you stay on track:
Be Patient: Building internal validation takes time. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: While internal validation comes from within, having supportive friends and mentors can reinforce your efforts.
Seek Professional Help: If you struggle with deep-seated issues related to self-worth, consider seeking guidance from a wellbeing coach.
Stop the need to people please: Constantly trying to meet others' expectations can lead to burn out, resentment and insecurities so acknowledge the negative side of seeking validation from other people and start to implement these tips to help you build your authentic self.
LAST WORDS OF WISDOM
Embracing internal validation is a transformative journey leading to greater self-esteem, authenticity and fulfilment. Empower yourself to live a more genuine and satisfying life.
Celebrate the unique person that you are.
Remember... the most important validation comes from within.
Rachel Tinker (RTWellness) is a Health and Wellbeing Coach and Life Coach based in Cranbrook, Kent with a passion for helping others find fulfilment and improve their life satisfaction. If you need support increasing self-esteem, self-worth and making a life transition or positive behaviour change, Rachel offers online face to face or in person coaching. Learn more at www.rtwellness.com
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